So You Think You're Funny 2010

It was a cold, rainy, summers night.............

Leicester was buzzing with excitment, the atmosphere was thick in the air, as I wandered around the city centre, blindly fighting my way through the driving rain determined that I would make it to my destination, 153 Granby Street, an address where tonight dreams would be made or shattered, an address where the men would be seperated from the boys, an address where an event of Gladitoral significence would be taking place..... "So, You Think You're Funny?" Funny how? Funny like a clown??


As I rounded the clock tower, the rain appeared to have a last ditch attempt to stop my progress, but there was no need. SHIT, I've left my photo in the car......... As I turn to walk back to the car park some 1mile away, the rain appears to laugh at me "mwahahahahaha, I have made you turn back......."

On my return trip to the car the direction of the rain appeared to change, forcing its icy fingers into my face once again, beating me down with each drop, attempting to try and keep me in some middle ground between my car and my destination. Then I played my trump card! CLINTON CARDS DOORWAY! "HA You can't get me now rain.... I WIN!". This bold move appeared to annoy the rain, who began a down pour of Biblical proportions, Noah would have had his hand on the hammer and screaming for Travis Perkins to get the wood to him ASAP, if he'd been with me in that Clintons Card doorway. I however was more annoyed that I was getting a little splash from the puddle in front of the doorway. This continued for 5mins, untill the rain broke and the sun appeared to break through the clouds.

So I made it to the venue, early, and wet..... much like my first sexual experience!

The Gig

The gig went well, even my mom and dad came to show support. Was a little nervous before getting up on stage, havig been told I could only do 8mins, and I knew my set would be 7mins 55secs, with NO reactions from the audience. But I ploughed through, got the "7 minute light" and this seemed to phase me a little, I started to rush and I missed out the word "Butcher" in the setup to my "handling meat" gag, so I looked a little confused when NO ONE laughed at that. Got the "8 minute" flashing light in the face and finished on my "Clamidia gag", classy when your mom is in the audience.

All in all it was a great night, and I'm hopeful but will not be surprised if I don't make it through to the heats in Edinburgh.

Anyways, onwards and upwards, Dewsbury this Tuesday night, for another "competition" - Don't really know where this one leads, but its all stage time after all!

Posted by Jon Pearson

The Hollybush in Cradley Heath


Well Hell-E-O!

So as I said in my last post I was going to be doing a gig at The Hollybush in Cradley Heath. I'd heard allot of good things about this place, it does seem to be THE place to go and gig in the West Midlands at the moment, so I was pleased to be able to secure a spot here.
I did bring my amazing fan base with me, Nicola (my understanding wife, and the biggest "laughter" I know), Rob, Spad, Ste, Andy, Rachel, Sam (FFF), Sarah (Leather Girl) and 2 new additions to my fan base Simon and Jen. So just from that list you can probably tell that the place was pretty packed out!

The night was being compered by Phillip Mccullough, and he got the crowd whipped up with his amazing view of the stories from the local rag! First up was Robert Callaghan, who'd travelled all the way from Maidstone, yes IN KENT, to perform at this venue. He looked like some scared German back packer when he arrived, HUUUGE big rucksack on his back and his blond hair looking like he was from the Aryan race. On arrival he threw his bag down behind the gambling machine, and somehow managed to turn EVERYTHING electrical off in the pub! But anyhoo, he got up and did his very clever 10mins of material, or was it 15-20, seeing as Mr. Mccullough was still finishing off his curry!
We then had a break, and it was the turn of Boosh to take the stage. Now I've known Boosh for around about a month now, and you can only describe this guy as a "character". He is currently attending the same course that I did at the start of the year and his genre of comedy is, how can you put it, strange. His entire set revolved around him having a massive cock, and this really didn't win the crowd over! He came off after what felt like 30mins, after forgetting his set and then reading from what I can only hope is his "in progress" notepad. He left the stage on a little bit of a low, as when claiming that Godzilla had a huge cock like his, an audience member (SPAD), pointed out that Godzilla was a women, because she laid eggs.

MORE.... MORE! WE WANT MORE

So I was up next, I was "bigged up" by the compere as "A guy that will not disappoint" and I took the stage to much applause and cheering (thanks to my fan base).
The set went well and I had the crowd laughing at ALL the right points, I did a mix of new and old stuff and it seemed to flow very well. Once I'd finished Phillip Mccullough pointed out that I was "obviously saving some material back" to the audience, to which the locals asked me to go back on stage, "Because we like you". MY FIRST EVER ENCORE!! Obviously I shyly walked back on stage and did the rest of my material that I had left out. Which again went down a storm! There is a full review HERE of the night.

Paul Hayman took the stage after another break and has the crowd in bits from his well constructed lines and stories.


So all in all a great night and a great gig! Onwards and upwards, here's to my next encore, hopefully this week at the "So You Think You're Funny" awards on Sunday


Toodle Pip!
Posted by Jon Pearson

Bank Holiday Fun

Weston-Super-Mare
Oh yes! This bank holiday monday we went to Weston-Super-Mare. Amazing idea thought up by 1 Matthew Dyson (aka Spad) and his lovely other half Sarah Craddock (aka Leather Girl). We left a dark and grey Walsall at 8.30am, having fed the kittens Jack and Daniel, we truddled off down the M5. Half way there the weather really wasn't looking promising, overcast and the odd drizzle of rain (fo shizzle), but this did not dampen our spirits as GMTV had told us that it was to be a fine day!
We arrived in Weston at around 10am, and seeing as there was a McDonalds on the way to the "Sea front" car park, we stopped off and had breakfast.
I was disappointed in the "BIG" Breakfast offered, having ordered it and received it I found that it only contained the elements of a Sausage and egg McMuffin just not put together, I kind of build your own McMuffin. Nicola loved her pancakes and syrup mind, but I wont be having a BIG breakfast in there again!
Whilst in McDonalds I couldn't help but overhear a family group, of what I assumed was Granny, Grandad and Granddaughter talking about what they were to order. The Granddaughter requested a Sausage and Egg McMuffin meal, the Grandad was having a Bacon and Egg McMuffin meal and the Granny requested only a coffee, and I quote, "I aye 'avin no ordinary coffee, I want one of 'dem Larrrrrtays". The switch from Black Country (I assume) to posh accent was incredible and had me chuckling for sometime.
Fully refuelled we headed to the Sea Front.

Beach Time!
On arrival at the sea front car park, which was only 40% full I was amazed to find that to park for longer than 5 hours it would cost £9, a whole NINE ENGLISH POUNDS! This prompted what can only be described as a sharp exit and a hunt for "side road parking", which turned out to be a fruitful exercise and we parked all day for absolutely nothing!
So we'd arrived at Weston and we were awaiting Matt and Sarahs arrival, texting them when we got there we found that they were only at junction 8 of the M5, so about an hour away, but then with Matt driving his new BMW, and trying to get the highest MPG EVER, that was more like an hour and a half! So we had a walk into Weston, and found SHAKE KING!

Shake King
I had heard rumours of these places before, from Nicola, but to see one in the flesh was AMAZING! Whatever you could think of in a shake, they did! Pure brilliance, I decided on a Battenburg shake, with a popping candy topping. I felt like I was about 6 again, walking down the street with my mouth making the greatest noise ever!

Once I'd shaken off the popping candy high, we went to an arcade, where I played the best space invaders game EVER, barring the original! Operated with your feet to shoot it was amazing and in total I managed to win us at least 50 tickets to put towards a prize. A small drop in the ocean seeing as it was 500 tickets for the small fluffy toy! Nicola proceeded to show me up by winning over 100 tickets on a Deal or No Deal game, that was in essence a 10p sliding machine thing, where you push a "DEAL" button and it drops a 10 pence piece onto a sliding thing...... you know what I mean!

BEACH
Once Matt and Sarah had finally arrived it was time for the beach! Spent a grand total of £10 on a bucket and spade and a cricket set...... Frisbee wasn't working seeing as I seemed to be the only 1 out of the 4 of us that could actually throw a Frisbee, honestly, what do they teach kids at these West Midlands schools! So we opted for cricket! We set up the wicket and as you can see from the picture, it wasn't quite a full sized set. (I know I'm big, but seriously!) There was actually only 3 of us playing this, Nicola was busy being Banksie of the Beach and creating the names in the sand picture you saw above.
So all in all it was a fantastic day by the sea side, with arcades, sand castle building, beach cricket, 3 throws of a Frisbee, sand writing and an amazing milkshake fit only for a king! Shame we had to come back but I had a gig at the Wheatsheaf in Walsall for the Caldmore Village Festival to get to.
Wheatsheaf, Walsall
Gig went well, small crowd but they appeared to be lapping up the comedy. Andrew Jones whole routine about a blow up doll did get mentioned by the MC (and organiser) Donna Scott when he came off, she actually apologised to the audience for this "Rude set". Which made me laugh!
My 10mins went well, but I managed to miss out ALL my diet set and was a little annoyed when I came off stage as I really think they would have loved it. Tried some new stuff to, and that went down well, which is good cos I'm going to include that in my "So You Think You're Funny 8mins set for the 13th June.
Next gig is the Hollybush in Cradley Heath..... really looking forward to this one, I've heard ALLOT of good things about this venue!
Anyways, pip pip, and see you all soon!
Posted by Jon Pearson
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Videos!

Whoop Whoop JonnyP Videos are now available!

Yes its true, you can now view some of my material here on the very easy and accessible INTERNET!
They can be found here on my youtube channel along with the speeches from our wedding and a few other random videos that I have created from along time ago. (I love Garden Wars!).

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

The videos can also be found here, on this very blog! All this plus some amazing blogs by the one and only JonnyP! What more could you ask for? All this fantastic information for just $99.99 dollars plus $1000 p&p.

Jon Pearson - Nicknames



Jon Pearson - Diets



Sorry went into infomercial mode there, no all this is absolutely FREE! So go on, get watching and get laughing!

I have more gigs in the pipe line, including the So You Think You're Funny awards in Leicester on the 13th June. So if you want to see me live, I'll post more details later!

Love and Peace out!

PS. Kittens are settling in well, and no longer have the names Liger and Figaro. They are now Jack and Daniel(s). Both me and Nicola think they are much better names for the 2 of them.
Posted by Jon Pearson

Kittens and Gigs

So its been a while.............
Not to much to report, done 3 gigs in the last 2weeks. The Highlight showcase in Birmingham where I tried out 5mins of new material and it all appeared to go down pretty well. The Lamp Tavern in Dudley which was an excellent gig in aid of the Kats Cradle charity, used a mixture of old and new stuff, older stuff seemed to go down better than the new, but that maybe because I was allot more comfortable with my old stuff. The Crumblin' Cookie in Leicester, which again was an excellent gig and I was allowed to waffle on all the way through my old set and into my new set, which was nice and it all seemed to go down pretty well. So all in all, new stuff is good, when interlinked with my old. THUMBS UP!

KITTENS
Oh yes, Nicola (my wife) and I have decided that the patter of tiny kittens is just what the house needs, so we are picking them up tonight.
We were originally only going to have 1, but due to not being able to agree on a name, we are having 2 and naming one each! YAY!
Maverick, Goose, Cougar, Hollywood, Wolfman, Iceman, Slider, Marty (McFly), Yoda, Chewie, Hans, Darth and Luke were all ruled out by Nicola.
So tonight we will welcome Figaro Pearson (Nicolas choice) and Liger Pearson (my choice see here) to the Pearson family.

Those of you that know me will know what a difficult choice it was between Tigon and Liger for the name of my Kitten, but I think Liger fits him better. Liger is obviously the one that is in the process of kicking the crap into Figaro in this picture. He has learnt well by playing dead and attacking when his prey is close enough for him to unleash his amazing fighting style! He will of course be taught the ways of the force and (if he's anything like me) will only eat the meat kitten/cat food, none of this fish stuff. He will be brought up on Rump Steaks (medium rare), with chips, onion rings and a side order of extra steak! BRING ON THE MONSTER!
Again just like his Dad, he'll probably grow to an amazing size and then be really calm and placid..... but when he gets angry.... you just watch the other cats run!

Anyhoo.... no gigs to talk about this week. Speak to you all soon. Promise more kitten pictures once they have settled in and I've got Liger up to his fighting weight!
Posted by Jon Pearson

Holly Bush Inn, Rugby 06/05/09


Surreal - But an experience

It was Thursday night and i was on my way down to Rugby to perform at the Holly Bush Inn, I was going over my material again in my head all the way there, happy that I had performed it twice so far with out any blips and just making sure that I was ready for what would be my first gig on my own. (The last 2 have all been arranged by Liam Jones and had included people that I have met on my course over the last 2 months.)
This was to be a charity gig in aid of the Warwickshire Air Ambulance, I say gig, it was a Charity NIGHT being held in aid of the Warwickshire Air Ambulance. This meant there was much more going on than just the comedy:


At the back of the pub was a Speed Pool tournament, a raffle and during the breaks in the comedy there was to be Virtual Horse Racing. The picture you see above is the "stage" area that we were to perform on with punters to be sat around the 2 round tables in front of the stage, so it was "cosy". This was situated at pretty much at the front door and right next to the only open bar in the place. So it was busy and noisy when the comedy night started.
The MC for the evening was Ewan Kershaw and he really attempted to get the crowd hushed and ready for comedy, even at one point taking a unsuspecting girl up to the stage because she was talking during his whole introduction. This wasn't helping my nerves.

First up was Jonathan Elston, I hadn't seen him before but I now know that he is the comic that offended the entire Phoenix with a "I don't care if your mum is dead comment". The room didn't really warm to him and he made a great job of getting a small "community" of people sat at the front that wanted to listen to the comedy. I forget who was up next, but his random rendition of the start to the Lion King as soon as he got on stage was something of beauty!

After the bar had fallen completely silent for the Virtual Racing during the break, it was Paul Baglin turn, and surprisingly, the atmosphere had appeared to change. There was more attention being paid to us and people were beginning to turn from the bar and watch. Paul did a great 10mins and then it was time for Steph Lane, who (being the only lady comic) immediately grabbed the attention of the "geezas" at the bar. She again had a great set and really did storm it.

After another break and amazing Virtual Horse Racing, it was the Villain hurdle, winner was Lord Voldermort... I think. It was time for me to get up on stage and perform. I feel that I went down rather well, however I completely forgot my material on my "diet stages", which left me at abit of a loss, however I managed to claw it back with some audience banter, especially with a woman who it would appear actually has the nickname "Cum Guzzling Slut".

Headline act was on after me, and please forgive me but I can't remember his last name, I think it was Lucus Hirst or Hurt, something like that. He did brilliantly and after 5mins of material just said "fuck it, I'm coming to talk to you lot" which really went down well.

So all in all the night went well. I also won a raffle prize with my 1 £1 ticket. 402 was called out, I went to collect my prize only for it to be announced on the PA system, that I had won "A FREE PERSONAL TRAINING SESSION" - That got a bigger laugh than the whole of my act. But hey hey, that's got potential as a great story at some point!

So anyhoo! Highlight this weekend. New Faces of Comedy. Broad Street Birmingham 9th May 2010. £5 on the door, doors open at 6.30pm. I'm doing new material so come on down if you liked the last stuff!

Posted by Jon Pearson
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Phoenix Gig - 29/04/10 - Remember the date

My my my my my! Didn't he do well!
- if I do say so myself, The Phoenix gig was FAN-TASTIC!

I was extremely nervous, I'd arrived at the venue at 6.30pm, and from the off there were some problems: No lights in the room, Hangs to the Left (Headliners) had arrived and they were busily trying to set up and sound check the room in the pitch black.
Once we had the lights on, we discovered that we had turned ALL the lights on, including the "Disco" lights, and we didn't know how to turn them off. Once we'd sorted the lighting it was time to test the microphones, which again showed more problems with a terrible buzz coming from the main mic that was going to be used by everyone, making my "one, two, one two" sound like Stephen Hawkins stuck in a loop. Luckily the guys new someone who could fix this on the phone and whilst I was getting chairs from downstairs they worked his magic.
All these problems were helping me to forget that this was only my second gig, and this time it was in front of a crowd of people that were PAYING for comedy. The previous gig at Highlight had been to an audience of friends and family of the "new" comedians, so they were expecting mistakes.
As showtime approached, the room was looking quite emtpy, but somehow (and I don't want to know how he did it) Phillip Mccollough (MC for the evening) rallied the punters up from downstairs and they started filling in.
It was then dropped on me that there was no one to announce Phillip on stage, so Liam decided that I was to do it, now this helped my nerves, as I was going to get 20seconds on stage, so people would know who I was...... What didn't help was the microphone not working when I attempted to start!
So anywho! Phillip did a great job at getting the crowd going and was excellent, Ben Hutchinson was on next, and again had a great gig even with his bad throat that everyone thought was going to give up on him any minute. Once Ben came off, Phillip did another 5mins and then it was time for JonnyP to entertain!
I was CRAPPING myself all the way through, but from the sounds of the audience I went down really well, it has been recorded so hopefully this week I'll get a copy of my 10mins and get it uploaded onto here or youtube (maybe both). Of course if it sounds like I went down really badly, the tape may get "lost".
Can I just say a big well done to all the guys that followed on after me, Rob Jones, Darren Corcoran and Lee O'Connell. You all did fantastic, if we all do gigs again together we should travel as the "Comic Virgins"!
So thats it, pretty much what you can take from this is "My video will hopefully be up in the next couple of days.
If you want to see me live then you'l have to get your arses to the The Hollybush in Rugby on Thursday 6th May, The Highlight in Birmingham on Sunday 9th May or the Crumblin' Cookie in Leicester on the Thursday 13th May.
Tar Tar For Now
Posted by Jon Pearson
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