Hello! I am still here. Just not really had much time to write anything recently!
I've been giggin allot since my last post, to much to comment on them all but I suppose 2 of the highlights would be OPENING a brand new night at the Litten Tree in Coventry and HEADLINING a new night in Stourport last month. (I love saying Headlining, technically I went on last, but that will do for me).
I've been writing allot of new stuff, some of which I have let out the bag, some of which is still to close to me to allow it to have a run out (scared I suppose that it will be shit, but yet I love it so much).
Rock and Relativity Holiday Conspiracies was a show we did for the Birmingham Comedy Festival, it went down really well for the festival, not so great on its second outing at the Wharf Bar in Walsall though, so that needs some rewriting.
On a personal note I was made redundant earlier in the year, but found a job working on an IT helpdesk as a second line server engineer within a week of my redundancy, which was nice.
So I'm now pretty much a comedy cliche with working in a call centre and doing the comedy at night. Gives me plenty of time to think of more stuff, but working in a call centre not as much funny stuff happens as you are lead to believe.
So thats pretty much it, I'm blogging for blogging sack really, just so (if I did have any followers) they did think I was dead.
Off I pop!
Speak to you all soon
First Comedy Store 'King Gong show
- Monday, July 05, 2010
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In for a penny..... in for a free drinkSo I stuck my neck out pretty much straight after my first gig at the highlight, on a high, euphoric thoughts of how great I seemed to go down in a room full of people that had turned up to see us all for our first ever gig. With these disillusioned thoughts in my head.... I booked myself in for the 'King Gong show at the Manchester Comedy Store. It can't be that bad.......... can it?
Having spoken to a lot of people on the circuit my heart had started to sink with each conversation. "They're RUTHLESS up there" or "I did a 8 hour round trip to have 30 seconds on that show" and my personal favourite "I was chanted off stage with people pointing at me, screaming 'You're shit, give up you worthless piece of shit'". So I was beginning to get nervous.
Luckily for me and my normal unorganised self, I'd forgotten I'd booked in for this, and the date, untill Friday around lunch time when I was checking through the folders of my email and came across the acceptance. So I only had 2 days worth of nerves on my back... which helped.
Manchester.... here I come.... ready or not.
So I needed to be there for 19.30, left the house at 17.20 and arrived, once sat nav had decided it DID know its way around Manchester, at 19.00. Not a bad journey, sun was out and I was being the good comedian and re-listening to my set on MP3.... not for the full 1 and a half hours, but for the last 30mins before I got there. Parking around the Comedy Store is STUPIDLY expensive, NCP - £8 for up to 4 hours!!!! Luckily as I was lost, I spotted the Comedy Store on the right, and as I drove past slowly someone pulled out of the Parking metre bays at the front, which are free on Sundays, so I jumped in... HAPPY DAYS!!
The Gig
I was toying with a new intro all the way up there, something more punchy, something that would really get them laughing straight off the bat, I'd decided on opening with the "I'm from Melton Mowbray", and then tell everyone how I had to apologise, because I'd tried to eat all the pies etc etc. on reflection I probably should have gone with that, but instead I opted for the standard start about my nickname, which went down well, and they loved the Sticky Vicky line.
Sitting in the audience waiting to go on stage was nerve jangling, and its true, the crowd were RUTHLESS. First act on, was there for 1min 10 seconds. BOY was she not happy! As the night progressed the card holders (3 red cards are distributed in the audience, if 3 cards are shown, you get gonged) were doing a pretty good job, at times a bit slow but the audience would let them know they weren't happy by quite willingly shouting "CARD" if they didn't like you.
I was on first after the break, Lukas Wild was on just before the break and was Gonged at 4mins 41 seconds.... it would seem that the card holders didn't like religion, but cock gags etc were going down a storm.
So I got up and started my set, it was all going well, untill I forgot to do the list of male nicknames and went into the "lawn bowls" stuff. Once I said I was a national champion, 1 card went up, then I said I had killed old people on the bowls rink another card went up and before I could get my "banker" PTO joke off I was gonged "because I worked in IT".
I was happy with the 3mins 35seconds I got, I was expecting under 1minute so I'm pretty pleased. Had some good feedback from other people who didn't have cards so it really is all down to the crowd.
I'm going back, with better prepared material..... and I WILL last 5mins!
ta-ra pet!
So You Think You're Funny 2010
- Monday, June 14, 2010
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It was a cold, rainy, summers night.............
Leicester was buzzing with excitment, the atmosphere was thick in the air, as I wandered around the city centre, blindly fighting my way through the driving rain determined that I would make it to my destination, 153 Granby Street, an address where tonight dreams would be made or shattered, an address where the men would be seperated from the boys, an address where an event of Gladitoral significence would be taking place..... "So, You Think You're Funny?" Funny how? Funny like a clown??
As I rounded the clock tower, the rain appeared to have a last ditch attempt to stop my progress, but there was no need. SHIT, I've left my photo in the car......... As I turn to walk back to the car park some 1mile away, the rain appears to laugh at me "mwahahahahaha, I have made you turn back......."
On my return trip to the car the direction of the rain appeared to change, forcing its icy fingers into my face once again, beating me down with each drop, attempting to try and keep me in some middle ground between my car and my destination. Then I played my trump card! CLINTON CARDS DOORWAY! "HA You can't get me now rain.... I WIN!". This bold move appeared to annoy the rain, who began a down pour of Biblical proportions, Noah would have had his hand on the hammer and screaming for Travis Perkins to get the wood to him ASAP, if he'd been with me in that Clintons Card doorway. I however was more annoyed that I was getting a little splash from the puddle in front of the doorway. This continued for 5mins, untill the rain broke and the sun appeared to break through the clouds.
So I made it to the venue, early, and wet..... much like my first sexual experience!
The Gig
The gig went well, even my mom and dad came to show support. Was a little nervous before getting up on stage, havig been told I could only do 8mins, and I knew my set would be 7mins 55secs, with NO reactions from the audience. But I ploughed through, got the "7 minute light" and this seemed to phase me a little, I started to rush and I missed out the word "Butcher" in the setup to my "handling meat" gag, so I looked a little confused when NO ONE laughed at that. Got the "8 minute" flashing light in the face and finished on my "Clamidia gag", classy when your mom is in the audience.
All in all it was a great night, and I'm hopeful but will not be surprised if I don't make it through to the heats in Edinburgh.
Anyways, onwards and upwards, Dewsbury this Tuesday night, for another "competition" - Don't really know where this one leads, but its all stage time after all!
The Hollybush in Cradley Heath
- Thursday, June 10, 2010
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Well Hell-E-O!
So as I said in my last post I was going to be doing a gig at The Hollybush in Cradley Heath. I'd heard allot of good things about this place, it does seem to be THE place to go and gig in the West Midlands at the moment, so I was pleased to be able to secure a spot here.
I did bring my amazing fan base with me, Nicola (my understanding wife, and the biggest "laughter" I know), Rob, Spad, Ste, Andy, Rachel, Sam (FFF), Sarah (Leather Girl) and 2 new additions to my fan base Simon and Jen. So just from that list you can probably tell that the place was pretty packed out!
The night was being compered by Phillip Mccullough, and he got the crowd whipped up with his amazing view of the stories from the local rag! First up was Robert Callaghan, who'd travelled all the way from Maidstone, yes IN KENT, to perform at this venue. He looked like some scared German back packer when he arrived, HUUUGE big rucksack on his back and his blond hair looking like he was from the Aryan race. On arrival he threw his bag down behind the gambling machine, and somehow managed to turn EVERYTHING electrical off in the pub! But anyhoo, he got up and did his very clever 10mins of material, or was it 15-20, seeing as Mr. Mccullough was still finishing off his curry!
We then had a break, and it was the turn of Boosh to take the stage. Now I've known Boosh for around about a month now, and you can only describe this guy as a "character". He is currently attending the same course that I did at the start of the year and his genre of comedy is, how can you put it, strange. His entire set revolved around him having a massive cock, and this really didn't win the crowd over! He came off after what felt like 30mins, after forgetting his set and then reading from what I can only hope is his "in progress" notepad. He left the stage on a little bit of a low, as when claiming that Godzilla had a huge cock like his, an audience member (SPAD), pointed out that Godzilla was a women, because she laid eggs.
MORE.... MORE! WE WANT MORE
So I was up next, I was "bigged up" by the compere as "A guy that will not disappoint" and I took the stage to much applause and cheering (thanks to my fan base).
The set went well and I had the crowd laughing at ALL the right points, I did a mix of new and old stuff and it seemed to flow very well. Once I'd finished Phillip Mccullough pointed out that I was "obviously saving some material back" to the audience, to which the locals asked me to go back on stage, "Because we like you". MY FIRST EVER ENCORE!! Obviously I shyly walked back on stage and did the rest of my material that I had left out. Which again went down a storm! There is a full review HERE of the night.
So as I said in my last post I was going to be doing a gig at The Hollybush in Cradley Heath. I'd heard allot of good things about this place, it does seem to be THE place to go and gig in the West Midlands at the moment, so I was pleased to be able to secure a spot here.
I did bring my amazing fan base with me, Nicola (my understanding wife, and the biggest "laughter" I know), Rob, Spad, Ste, Andy, Rachel, Sam (FFF), Sarah (Leather Girl) and 2 new additions to my fan base Simon and Jen. So just from that list you can probably tell that the place was pretty packed out!
The night was being compered by Phillip Mccullough, and he got the crowd whipped up with his amazing view of the stories from the local rag! First up was Robert Callaghan, who'd travelled all the way from Maidstone, yes IN KENT, to perform at this venue. He looked like some scared German back packer when he arrived, HUUUGE big rucksack on his back and his blond hair looking like he was from the Aryan race. On arrival he threw his bag down behind the gambling machine, and somehow managed to turn EVERYTHING electrical off in the pub! But anyhoo, he got up and did his very clever 10mins of material, or was it 15-20, seeing as Mr. Mccullough was still finishing off his curry!
We then had a break, and it was the turn of Boosh to take the stage. Now I've known Boosh for around about a month now, and you can only describe this guy as a "character". He is currently attending the same course that I did at the start of the year and his genre of comedy is, how can you put it, strange. His entire set revolved around him having a massive cock, and this really didn't win the crowd over! He came off after what felt like 30mins, after forgetting his set and then reading from what I can only hope is his "in progress" notepad. He left the stage on a little bit of a low, as when claiming that Godzilla had a huge cock like his, an audience member (SPAD), pointed out that Godzilla was a women, because she laid eggs.
MORE.... MORE! WE WANT MORE
So I was up next, I was "bigged up" by the compere as "A guy that will not disappoint" and I took the stage to much applause and cheering (thanks to my fan base).
The set went well and I had the crowd laughing at ALL the right points, I did a mix of new and old stuff and it seemed to flow very well. Once I'd finished Phillip Mccullough pointed out that I was "obviously saving some material back" to the audience, to which the locals asked me to go back on stage, "Because we like you". MY FIRST EVER ENCORE!! Obviously I shyly walked back on stage and did the rest of my material that I had left out. Which again went down a storm! There is a full review HERE of the night.
Paul Hayman took the stage after another break and has the crowd in bits from his well constructed lines and stories.
So all in all a great night and a great gig! Onwards and upwards, here's to my next encore, hopefully this week at the "So You Think You're Funny" awards on Sunday
Toodle Pip!
Bank Holiday Fun
- Tuesday, June 01, 2010
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Weston-Super-Mare
Oh yes! This bank holiday monday we went to Weston-Super-Mare. Amazing idea thought up
by 1 Matthew Dyson (aka Spad) and his lovely other half Sarah Craddock (aka Leather Girl). We left a dark and grey Walsall at 8.30am, having fed the kittens Jack and Daniel, we truddled off down the M5. Half way there the weather really wasn't looking promising, overcast and the odd drizzle of rain (fo shizzle), but this did not dampen our spirits as GMTV had told us that it was to be a fine day!
We arrived in Weston at around 10am, and seeing as there was a McDonalds on the way to the "Sea front" car park, we stopped off and had breakfast.
I was disappointed in the "BIG" Breakfast offered, having ordered it and received it I found that it only contained the elements of a Sausage and egg McMuffin just not put together, I kind of build your own McMuffin. Nicola loved her pancakes and syrup mind, but I wont be having a BIG breakfast in there again!
Whilst in McDonalds I couldn't help but overhear a family group, of what I assumed was Granny, Grandad and Granddaughter talking about what they were to order. The Granddaughter requested a Sausage and Egg McMuffin meal, the Grandad was having a Bacon and Egg McMuffin meal and the Granny requested only a coffee, and I quote, "I aye 'avin no ordinary coffee, I want one of 'dem Larrrrrtays". The switch from Black Country (I assume) to posh accent was incredible and had me chuckling for sometime.
Fully refuelled we headed to the Sea Front.
Beach Time!
On arrival at the sea front car park, which was only 40% full I was amazed to find that to park for longer than 5 hours it would cost £9, a whole NINE ENGLISH POUNDS! This prompted what can only be described as a sharp exit and a hunt for "side road parking", which turned out to be a fruitful exercise and we parked all day for absolutely nothing!
So we'd arrived at Weston and we were awaiting Matt and Sarahs arrival, texting them when we got there we found that they were only at junction 8 of the M5, so about an hour away, but then with Matt driving his new BMW, and trying to get the highest MPG EVER, that was more like an hour and a half! So we had a walk into Weston, and found SHAKE KING!
Shake King
I had heard rumours of these places before, from Nicola, but to see one in the flesh was AMAZING! Whatever you could think of in a shake, they did! Pure brilliance, I decided on a Battenburg shake, with a popping candy topping. I felt like I was about 6 again, walking down the street with my mouth making the greatest noise ever!
Oh yes! This bank holiday monday we went to Weston-Super-Mare. Amazing idea thought up
by 1 Matthew Dyson (aka Spad) and his lovely other half Sarah Craddock (aka Leather Girl). We left a dark and grey Walsall at 8.30am, having fed the kittens Jack and Daniel, we truddled off down the M5. Half way there the weather really wasn't looking promising, overcast and the odd drizzle of rain (fo shizzle), but this did not dampen our spirits as GMTV had told us that it was to be a fine day!We arrived in Weston at around 10am, and seeing as there was a McDonalds on the way to the "Sea front" car park, we stopped off and had breakfast.
I was disappointed in the "BIG" Breakfast offered, having ordered it and received it I found that it only contained the elements of a Sausage and egg McMuffin just not put together, I kind of build your own McMuffin. Nicola loved her pancakes and syrup mind, but I wont be having a BIG breakfast in there again!
Whilst in McDonalds I couldn't help but overhear a family group, of what I assumed was Granny, Grandad and Granddaughter talking about what they were to order. The Granddaughter requested a Sausage and Egg McMuffin meal, the Grandad was having a Bacon and Egg McMuffin meal and the Granny requested only a coffee, and I quote, "I aye 'avin no ordinary coffee, I want one of 'dem Larrrrrtays". The switch from Black Country (I assume) to posh accent was incredible and had me chuckling for sometime.
Fully refuelled we headed to the Sea Front.
Beach Time!
On arrival at the sea front car park, which was only 40% full I was amazed to find that to park for longer than 5 hours it would cost £9, a whole NINE ENGLISH POUNDS! This prompted what can only be described as a sharp exit and a hunt for "side road parking", which turned out to be a fruitful exercise and we parked all day for absolutely nothing!
So we'd arrived at Weston and we were awaiting Matt and Sarahs arrival, texting them when we got there we found that they were only at junction 8 of the M5, so about an hour away, but then with Matt driving his new BMW, and trying to get the highest MPG EVER, that was more like an hour and a half! So we had a walk into Weston, and found SHAKE KING!
Shake King
I had heard rumours of these places before, from Nicola, but to see one in the flesh was AMAZING! Whatever you could think of in a shake, they did! Pure brilliance, I decided on a Battenburg shake, with a popping candy topping. I felt like I was about 6 again, walking down the street with my mouth making the greatest noise ever!
Once I'd shaken off the popping candy high, we went to an arcade, where I played the best space invaders game EVER, barring the original! Operated with your feet to shoot it was amazing and
in total I managed to win us at least 50 tickets to put towards a prize. A small drop in the ocean seeing as it was 500 tickets for the small fluffy toy! Nicola proceeded to show me up by winning over 100 tickets on a Deal or No Deal game, that was in essence a 10p sliding machine thing, where you push a "DEAL" button and it drops a 10 pence piece onto a sliding thing...... you know what I mean!
in total I managed to win us at least 50 tickets to put towards a prize. A small drop in the ocean seeing as it was 500 tickets for the small fluffy toy! Nicola proceeded to show me up by winning over 100 tickets on a Deal or No Deal game, that was in essence a 10p sliding machine thing, where you push a "DEAL" button and it drops a 10 pence piece onto a sliding thing...... you know what I mean!BEACH
Once Matt and Sarah had finally arrived it was time for the beach! Spent a grand total of £10 on a bucket and spade and a cricket set...... Frisbee wasn't working seeing as I seemed to be the 
only 1 out of the 4 of us that could actually throw a Frisbee, honestly, what do they teach kids at these West Midlands schools! So we opted for cricket! We set up the wicket and as you can see from the picture, it wasn't quite a full sized set. (I know I'm big, but seriously!) There was actually only 3 of us playing this, Nicola was busy being Banksie of the Beach and creating the names in the sand picture you saw above.
only 1 out of the 4 of us that could actually throw a Frisbee, honestly, what do they teach kids at these West Midlands schools! So we opted for cricket! We set up the wicket and as you can see from the picture, it wasn't quite a full sized set. (I know I'm big, but seriously!) There was actually only 3 of us playing this, Nicola was busy being Banksie of the Beach and creating the names in the sand picture you saw above.So all in all it was a fantastic day by the sea side, with arcades, sand castle building, beach cricket, 3 throws of a Frisbee, sand writing and an amazing milkshake fit only for a king! Shame we had to come back but I had a gig at the Wheatsheaf in Walsall for the Caldmore Village Festival to get to.
Wheatsheaf, Walsall
Gig went well, small crowd but they appeared to be lapping up the comedy. Andrew Jones whole routine about a blow up doll did get mentioned by the MC (and organiser) Donna Scott when he came off, she actually apologised to the audience for this "Rude set". Which made me laugh!
My 10mins went well, but I managed to miss out ALL my diet set and was a little annoyed when I came off stage as I really think they would have loved it. Tried some new stuff to, and that went down well, which is good cos I'm going to include that in my "So You Think You're Funny 8mins set for the 13th June.
Next gig is the Hollybush in Cradley Heath..... really looking forward to this one, I've heard ALLOT of good things about this venue!
Anyways, pip pip, and see you all soon!
Videos!
- Wednesday, May 26, 2010
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Whoop Whoop JonnyP Videos are now available!
Yes its true, you can now view some of my material here on the very easy and accessible INTERNET!
They can be found here on my youtube channel along with the speeches from our wedding and a few other random videos that I have created from along time ago. (I love Garden Wars!).
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
The videos can also be found here, on this very blog! All this plus some amazing blogs by the one and only JonnyP! What more could you ask for? All this fantastic information for just $99.99 dollars plus $1000 p&p.
Jon Pearson - Nicknames
Jon Pearson - Diets
Sorry went into infomercial mode there, no all this is absolutely FREE! So go on, get watching and get laughing!
I have more gigs in the pipe line, including the So You Think You're Funny awards in Leicester on the 13th June. So if you want to see me live, I'll post more details later!
Love and Peace out!
PS. Kittens are settling in well, and no longer have the names Liger and Figaro. They are now Jack and Daniel(s). Both me and Nicola think they are much better names for the 2 of them.
Yes its true, you can now view some of my material here on the very easy and accessible INTERNET!
They can be found here on my youtube channel along with the speeches from our wedding and a few other random videos that I have created from along time ago. (I love Garden Wars!).
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
The videos can also be found here, on this very blog! All this plus some amazing blogs by the one and only JonnyP! What more could you ask for? All this fantastic information for just $99.99 dollars plus $1000 p&p.
Jon Pearson - Nicknames
Jon Pearson - Diets
Sorry went into infomercial mode there, no all this is absolutely FREE! So go on, get watching and get laughing!
I have more gigs in the pipe line, including the So You Think You're Funny awards in Leicester on the 13th June. So if you want to see me live, I'll post more details later!
Love and Peace out!
PS. Kittens are settling in well, and no longer have the names Liger and Figaro. They are now Jack and Daniel(s). Both me and Nicola think they are much better names for the 2 of them.
Kittens and Gigs
- Friday, May 21, 2010
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So its been a while.............
Not to much to report, done 3 gigs in the last 2weeks. The Highlight showcase in Birmingham where I tried out 5mins of new material and it all appeared to go down pretty well. The Lamp Tavern in Dudley which was an excellent gig in aid of the Kats Cradle charity, used a mixture of old and new stuff, older stuff seemed to go down better than the new, but that maybe because I was allot more comfortable with my old stuff. The Crumblin' Cookie in Leicester, which again was an excellent gig and I was allowed to waffle on all the way through my old set and into my new set, which was nice and it all seemed to go down pretty well. So all in all, new stuff is good, when interlinked with my old. THUMBS UP!
KITTENS
Oh yes, Nicola (my wife) and I have decided that the patter of tiny kittens is just what the house needs, so we are picking them up tonight.
We were originally only going to have 1, but due to not being able to agree on a name, we are having 2 and naming one each! YAY!
Maverick, Goose, Cougar, Hollywood, Wolfman, Iceman, Slider, Marty (McFly), Yoda, Chewie, Hans, Darth and Luke were all ruled out by Nicola.
So tonight we will welcome Figaro Pearson (Nicolas choice) and Liger Pearson (my choice see here) to the Pearson family.
Those of you that know me will know what a difficult choice it was between Tigon and Liger for the name of my Kitten, but I think Liger fits him better.
Liger is obviously the one that is in the process of kicking the crap into Figaro in this picture. He has learnt well by playing dead and attacking when his prey is close enough for him to unleash his amazing fighting style! He will of course be taught the ways of the force and (if he's anything like me) will only eat the meat kitten/cat food, none of this fish stuff. He will be brought up on Rump Steaks (medium rare), with chips, onion rings and a side order of extra steak! BRING ON THE MONSTER!
Again just like his Dad, he'll probably grow to an amazing size and then be really calm and placid..... but when he gets angry.... you just watch the other cats run!
Anyhoo.... no gigs to talk about this week. Speak to you all soon. Promise more kitten pictures once they have settled in and I've got Liger up to his fighting weight!
Not to much to report, done 3 gigs in the last 2weeks. The Highlight showcase in Birmingham where I tried out 5mins of new material and it all appeared to go down pretty well. The Lamp Tavern in Dudley which was an excellent gig in aid of the Kats Cradle charity, used a mixture of old and new stuff, older stuff seemed to go down better than the new, but that maybe because I was allot more comfortable with my old stuff. The Crumblin' Cookie in Leicester, which again was an excellent gig and I was allowed to waffle on all the way through my old set and into my new set, which was nice and it all seemed to go down pretty well. So all in all, new stuff is good, when interlinked with my old. THUMBS UP!
KITTENS
Oh yes, Nicola (my wife) and I have decided that the patter of tiny kittens is just what the house needs, so we are picking them up tonight.
We were originally only going to have 1, but due to not being able to agree on a name, we are having 2 and naming one each! YAY!
Maverick, Goose, Cougar, Hollywood, Wolfman, Iceman, Slider, Marty (McFly), Yoda, Chewie, Hans, Darth and Luke were all ruled out by Nicola.
So tonight we will welcome Figaro Pearson (Nicolas choice) and Liger Pearson (my choice see here) to the Pearson family.
Those of you that know me will know what a difficult choice it was between Tigon and Liger for the name of my Kitten, but I think Liger fits him better.
Liger is obviously the one that is in the process of kicking the crap into Figaro in this picture. He has learnt well by playing dead and attacking when his prey is close enough for him to unleash his amazing fighting style! He will of course be taught the ways of the force and (if he's anything like me) will only eat the meat kitten/cat food, none of this fish stuff. He will be brought up on Rump Steaks (medium rare), with chips, onion rings and a side order of extra steak! BRING ON THE MONSTER!Again just like his Dad, he'll probably grow to an amazing size and then be really calm and placid..... but when he gets angry.... you just watch the other cats run!
Anyhoo.... no gigs to talk about this week. Speak to you all soon. Promise more kitten pictures once they have settled in and I've got Liger up to his fighting weight!
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